Is it O.K. to have a friendship with the people who report to you?
It’s certainly nothing to be afraid of! Of course, you don’t need to be friends with your subordinates, as long as you share the same values for the business. But if you are friends with them, lucky you. Working with people you really like for 8 or 10 hours a day adds fun to everything.
That said, remember that boss-subordinate friendships live or die because of one thing: complete, unrelenting candor. Candor is imperative in any working relationship, but it’s especially necessary when there’s a social aspect involved. You don’t want your liking someone’s personality to automatically communicate that you like his or her performance. You may, but performance evaluations have to come in a distinct and separate set of conversations at work— as often as four times a year—in which you sit down with your subordinate, put the shared laughs from last weekend’s barbecue in the corner, and talk about what’s expected and what has been delivered.
Do these candid conversations require a certain ability to compartmentalize? You bet they do. But when you recognize that fact and practice discipline, confident you’re being fair to everyone, you should be able to enjoy one of work’s best built-in perks: hanging out with friends.
This question and answer originally appeared in Business Week magazine on November 20, 2006.
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